The Curse of the Ancient Tuna

By Iron Mittens · Metal · From the album Greatest Hiss.. The Best Of Iron Mittens

The Curse of the Ancient Tuna

Written by: Samuel Tailbone Rottenfish

The Iron Mittens take on "The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner." The lore of the song: Samuel Tailbone Rottenfish was a poet of Seven Harbors; a sailor, and the only cat who dared to open the forbidden can. He ate from the Ancient Tuna on a windless night. And the curse began.

Now he’s doomed to wander the docks forever, telling every kitten the tale, while the smell follows him like a shadow.

"Recorded in the Bilge of S.S. Sardine. No spoiled cans were opened in the making of this song."

Lyrics:

[INTRO: Spoken word]

"Listen close, kittens... gather round the dumpster fire. Beware the can that has no label... for within lies the scent that even the ocean cannot wash away...

I was but a humble sailor... a seeker of the ocean's bounty.

I knew not the curse that waits behind the silver lid.

I opened the can that should have remained sealed...

And now? Now I wander the docks forever, chased by the ghost of a scent that never dies."

[VERSE 1]

Day one on the shelf, pristine and cold,

A promise of feast, a treasure untold

A gift from the depths, in a metallic tomb,

Waiting for paws to break through the mold

Old Tuna can stored by fate's cruel hand,

Unleashing the curse on ship and land.

[VERSE 2]

Day three of the voyage, reality grew thin

The bilge starts to reek, the stench climbs the rigging,

It creeps through the hold in the dead of the night,

And there my doom comes into sight.

The lid has been breached, the ritual done,

And the war with decay has only begun!

[CHORUS]

It's the Grime of the Ancient Tuna!

The curse no paw can wash away...

Spoiled and putrid, the scent of the damned!

An eternal plague, the smell of the dead!

THE CURSE OF THE ANCIENT TUNA!

[VERSE 3]

Five days later, maggots dance in the heat

The mariner cats gather to witness defeat

One brave kitten, with hunger so bold

Took a single lick of that tuna of old

His spirit was severed, his eyes roll back,

Stiff as a board, like a carcass on the deck

[PRE CHORUS]

Day after day, day after day, we stuck, no breath nor motion

Stench, stench everywhere, trapped on the windless ocean.

[Chorus]

It's the Grime of the Ancient Tuna!

The curse no paw can wash away...

Spoiled and putrid, the scent of the damned!

An eternal plague, the smell of the dead!

THE CURSE OF THE ANCIENT TUNA!

[INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]

[VERSE 4]

The Captain screamed through salt crusted air,

"Cast out the cursed one! Leave him to despair!"

So they put me into a boat to sail away

And I ended up in this dark alleyway

No ship will receive me, all crew curses my name,

The cat who bears the Ancient Tuna's shame!

Even the dogs won't come within ten feet!

Carrion flies crown the air around me

I'm the cursed one bound to these docks

Exiled and forbidden to enter any boats

[FINAL CHORUS]

It's the Grime of the Ancient Tuna!

The curse no paw can wash away...

Spoiled and putrid, the scent of the damned!

An eternal plague, the smell of the dead!

THE CURSE OF THE ANCIENT TUNA!

[CLIMAX]

Ohhhh, that putrid stench!

RUNNNNNNNNNN!!!

About Metal

The foundational heavy metal genre, characterized by distorted guitars, powerful vocals, and themes of rebellion and strength, encompassing all core metal aesthetics. Bands include: Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest

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